When it comes to engagement rings, the only real rule is this: it should feel right for you. But for years, people have followed all kinds of outdated traditions - some charming, others… not so much. If you're shopping for a ring (or hinting hard to someone who is), here are a few engagement ring "rules" you can absolutely break without a second thought.
1. It has to cost three months’ salary
Let’s start with the big one. This one’s basically a marketing myth. The “three months’ salary” guideline was pushed by diamond companies in the mid-20th century - and let’s be real, your financial life shouldn’t be shaped by a decades-old ad. There’s no magic number for what a ring should cost. Some couples go big, others go modest, and many find something meaningful in between. The best budget is the one that keeps you excited about your future, not stressed about your credit card bill.
2. Diamonds are a must
Diamonds are timeless for a reason - they’re incredibly durable, they have a dazzling sparkle, and they’ve symbolized commitment for generations. But here’s the thing: diamonds aren’t the only beautiful option. Sapphires, emeralds, moissanite, salt-and-pepper diamonds, and other gemstones offer gorgeous alternatives that can be just as meaningful. The key is to choose what speaks to you. Love a classic diamond? Amazing. Want something colorful, unique, or more budget-friendly? Equally amazing. There’s no wrong answer.
3. The proposal should be a total surprise
We all love a good movie moment - the kneeling, the gasp, the unexpected sparkle. But in real life, surprises aren't always the best foundation for a major life decision. Most couples talk about getting engaged before it happens, and many even shop for the ring together. Open communication doesn't ruin the magic - it builds trust, clarity, and confidence in the choice you're making together. There’s nothing unromantic about being on the same page!
4. The ring has to be a solitaire
Solitaire engagement rings are a classic choice - elegant, timeless, and beautiful. But that doesn’t mean they're the only option. Halos, three-stone settings, toi et moi styles, vintage clusters, intricate designs - there are many stunning alternatives. The idea that there's only one right look for an engagement ring is seriously outdated. Want something bold and unique? Go for it. Your ring should reflect your style, not just tradition.
5. You can’t wear a non-traditional ring every day
People often assume only “classic” rings are wearable long-term. And sure, it’s true that some stones are softer, some settings are more delicate, and some designs just aren’t built for a super active lifestyle. But that doesn’t mean you have to settle for something traditional if that’s not your style. If you fall in love with a unique or non-traditional ring, there are ways to make it work. That might might mean a sturdy setting, occasional maintenance, or simply taking it off during workouts and hands-on tasks. You don’t have to give up your dream ring - you just have to find the balance that fits your life.
6. The person proposing has to choose the ring alone
Surprise proposals are sweet, but that doesn’t mean the ring has to be a solo decision. It’s 100% okay - and honestly, pretty smart - to choose the ring together. Some couples make it a fun day out. Others send screenshots, make Pinterest boards, casually window shop or gently drop hints. Involving your partner in the process makes sure the ring is something they'll be excited to wear every day.
7. Bigger is always better
Let’s bust this myth: size is not the only thing that matters. A smaller, high-quality stone can sparkle more than a big one that’s poorly cut. And some people just prefer a more subtle, low-profile look. The “bigger equals better” mindset is rooted in comparison culture - not personal taste. Choose the ring that makes you light up, not the one that looks best on Instagram.
8. You need to stick to traditional metals
White gold and platinum have long been the go-to metals for engagement rings, but there’s a whole world of options out there. Rose gold has a romantic vibe. Yellow gold is bold and classic. Even alternative materials like black titanium or recycled metals are gaining traction. The right metal is the one that suits your skin tone, your style, and how the ring fits into your overall aesthetic.
9. The engagement ring has to match the wedding band perfectly
Sure, matching sets can be gorgeous - but they’re not the only option. Mixing metals, styles, and even shapes can make your rings more personal and visually interesting. Some couples choose complementary bands instead of identical ones. Others pick rings that symbolize something unique to their relationship. If matching feels right, go for it. But if it doesn’t, you can still create a beautiful, meaningful pairing that tells your own story.
10. You have to stick to one ring forever
There’s this unspoken idea that once you choose an engagement ring, that’s it - no changes, no upgrades, no swaps. But here’s the truth: it’s totally okay if your taste evolves over time. A ring isn’t just a symbol of a single moment - it can grow right along with your relationship. Some people decide to upgrade their ring after a big milestone, like an anniversary or the birth of a child. Others might want to reset their stone into a different design, or add bands to tell new parts of their story.
There's no such thing as a “one size fits all” approach to engagement rings. Traditions are there if you want them - but you should never feel bound to them. What matters most is that your ring feels like you - your style, your story, your love. The right ring is the one that makes you smile every time you look at it. So go ahead and break the rules, rewrite them, make up completely new ones. This is your love story - and your ring should reflect it on your own terms.
Ready to find the ring that’s truly yours? Explore our curated collection of unique and beautiful engagement rings at Aureus Boutique.
